Do you also want to feel this way?
After marriage and bringing kids to this world, people often start taking each other for granted.
We are used to the presence of this person beside us, and we are lost in the grinding routine of taking care of the kids and house chores.
We concentrate mostly on what he did wrong, or what he forgot to do or how he shouldn’t have done this or said that.
And this is the secure and the direct way to throw our relationship to hell.
So how can we avoid it? Or how can we fix it?
If you have a good loving relationship, that is based on mutual respect and friendship, and just the passion is gone, this is actually quite an easy fix. I will give you some winning tips right away.
If the relationship is “broken”. If there is no mutual respect, no friendship, nor love – I will suggest some more profound material at the end of this post.
So how to revive the passion?
There are 3 golden rules to follow:
1. Break The Routine
Routine and taking each other for granted is the worst enemy of a loving couple.
So break it!
Break the routine. Go out together like in the old times. Ask the grandparents to take care of the kids, or hire a babysitter.
Do not give in to fatigue. Yes, as parents we are tired all the time. And just wait to go to bed. BUT as soon as the adrenalin will begin to flow through your blood, the fatigue will have no trace.
Do a role-playing game. It brings some necessary spice to a rusty relationship… 😉 Set a date in a certain place and get there each one in his own way. Not together. Play as if you just met… Flirt…
It might feel ridiculous and artificial in the beginning, but you’ll see that in the end, it will be a lot of fun!
Be naughty, be playful, be wild, do crazy and exciting things together. And you will fall in love with your partner again.
2. Do things that excite you.
I mean – do exciting things that do not relate to sex life. Find a hobby that excites you, and let your spouse engage in a hobby that excites him.
This one is not so obvious, and actually, I got this tip from my friend – Sharon Roushink, who is a brilliant counselor for couples and families with a lot of knowledge and experience.
I want to draw your attention to the fact that the burnout and the routine permeate from other aspects of life into the sex life as well.
If you look in deep, you discover that the passion has been lost on many levels. Not just in sex.
A certain person feels a lack of excitement in other areas of his life. In addition, the partner with whom he is, no longer as enthusiastic as before. The passion has disappeared because the inner desire has disappeared. The inner desire to life, creativity, reinventing ourselves, investing in the constant search for growth, investing in our looks, sports, anything that creates the sparkle in the eyes. When this inner desire disappears, also the sexual one vanishes. In addition, the spouse is less attracted to us – because at the end – that’s what attracts us – the desire for life.
And when one spouse is off in this place – he lacks passion. First of all to himself. And then also towards his partner.
So what can you do?
Seek what excites you. At all levels, not just sex – that’s what creates interest, curiosity, challenge.
And then the desire returns.
Also, let your spouse have the free time and the opportunity to do the things that excite him. This way his passion will wake up towards you, and it will also make you desire him.
In my story, for example, my husband has this band. It’s his hobby. They don’t make any money with this. They are doing it just for fun. But it lightens him up. It turns him on. On one hand, it revives the passion within him, and on the other hand, when I see him like this it also revives my desire towards him. It totally turns me on. And this is the reason why every week, once a week I stay alone with two little kids, and he goes to the rehearsals. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard, but the final result is totally worth it.
3. Create mystery
If your man is a good friend of yours, but you notice that he does not feel as attracted to you as before, creating some mystery will fix it.
Like Gregg Michaelsen, the author of the Dating and Relationship Advice for Women series, told me:
Relationships get stale and it’s up to you to zig when he thinks you are going to zag.
The secret is to develop a new and vibrant social life and go to it. At some point, he should start to wonder/worry/ what and why you are doing this and this could create the mystery and challenge you need to revive his attraction towards you.
Think of the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes” and start getting a little crazy like Kathy. In the movie, you will notice how Evelyn Couch’s (Kathy Bates) gets motivated by her visits to Ninny Threadgoode (Jessica Tandy) in the nursing home. She changes her life in an instant, and her “boring ass” husband gets a massive dose of a new and improved Evelyn! This is what you need to do. Gauge how far you need to take things by his reaction or lack thereof. The minute he starts to realize that he could lose you, the instant that his “chase DNA” kicks back in like the day he fell in love with you…
Keep it burning. Don’t give up on your love.
The best “cheating” in the world is when you’re “cheating” with your partner. It causes pain for no one. Just pleasure. Pure pleasure. A win-win-win situation.
You win, he wins, your love wins, and your kids also win a happy home with happy parents.
And what if it’s not just the passion? What if the relationship is just “broken”?
Well, in this case, I’d recommend you some very good material that can help you.
2. The “Mend The Marriage” program of Brad Browning – Marriage Coach and Best Selling Author.
I added here one of his free videos, so you can get the impression. I must say he is really good.
Click Here To get on his Great Program!