How to raise happy kids

We all want our kids to grow up and be happy adults. Don’t we? As parents, can we give them now the tools to be happy when they are grown up? Absolutely!

In this article, I’ll share two great tips on how to teach our children to be happy.

One – Be happy yourself.

You need to be a model for your kids. This is extremely important. You can’t teach your kids something, you don’t know how to do yourself… Many parents think loving their children means living only for them, putting their needs and desires ahead of their own. They cook for them, clean after them, drive them to wherever they want or need, and basically busy all day serving their kids, without taking time for themselves. This is a bad example for the kids.
First, kids who perceive their mother as a servant, learn to be selfish and tend to feel that the world owes them a living. With this attitude, it will be very hard for them to adapt to the adulthood. Therefore, if you want to give your children a fair chance of a smooth transition to happy adulthood, stop being their servant.
Second, if you usually drop everything to satisfy their needs and wills, but giving up on your own needs and wills, they will learn these behaviors of self-denial and victimization from you.

On the other hand, if you take the time to take care of yourself, and you do things that you enjoy, things that make you happy, your kids will have a great example to follow. When they see you following your dreams and making decisions according to your inner truth, they learn that this is the right thing to do.

So if you want to raise happy kids, first of all, you need to be good to yourself. Find and invest time in your hobbies, fun activities, and dreams. Every week plan in some scheduled personal time (two hours at least), and make sure that you take it.
Show your children you’re doing this, and explain them why: “Mommy also needs to have fun”. This will teach them that you value yourself, and that personal time is important for happiness.

Two – Invest one on one personal time with your kid.

Focused attention has tremendous value for raising happy children. Spend one on one quality time with each one of your kids. It doesn’t need to be a lot of time. It can be even just ten minutes every day. But in these 10 minutes, you should focus all your attention on your child. Look at them, listen to them, be 100% with them. No answering phone calls. No distractions.

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention. When we invest an hour or two to be with our child and focus on them without interruptions, we show them how loved and important they are. Make an everyday routine of some quality time with focused attention, even if it’s just for ten minutes. These will be probably the most important ten minutes of the day, for your kid.

This time you will carve out every day for focusing on your child will teach your child self-worth. By spending with them these special moments every day you show them how valuable they are. This shows, in fact, by actions, how much you love your kid, and this is priceless. This makes your child feel secure, and this feeling of security is an essential foundation of happiness.

In our busy world, it’s not easy to make time to take care of ourselves and uninterrupted quality time for you with your kid. But you must make the effort to do this because nothing is more important for your, and your child’s happiness.

Anna Riabzev

Hi, My name is Anna. I'd like to apologize in advance, my English is not perfect and full of mistakes, just like my parenting. But I try my best. In both :-) I am a mother of three adorable kids. Orel, is my amazing red-head boy from my first marriage. Gabriel is a blond sweet child, who was born with a rare genetic syndrom (2q37 - to those who would like to google it). And Marina - my beautiful brunette princess. Although in pictures everything looks perfect, it's not. But it's ok! If everything would be perfect it would be boring - right? In this blog I'd like to share with you my parenting experience. The good and the bad. My successes and failures. The things that cause me guilt feelings, and the things I'm proud of. I hope you will enjoy this blog. Will be really glad if you'll leave me comments and tell me what you think. Have a great day! :)

10 thoughts to “How to raise happy kids”

  1. Hi Anna! Thanks for the two great tips on how to keep the children happy. You know as a teacher, I have seen many children unhappy and it breaks one’s heart. And as an educator I have to see how to make the child happy or in good mood! All the best in your role as parent and of course there is ups and downs.

    1. Thank you, Shalini!
      Thank you for your comment, and thank you for your mission, because being a teacher is a mission indeed, and a very important one! I value teachers so much because their work is so hard but so important for our children.
      I wish you all the best!

  2. I’m glad I read this, and as a teenager, this was beneficial for my future life. I want to be the best role model for my kid, and when you mention that we must be happy with ourselves, I smiled because it is that simple! Also, the idea of spending alone time with them seems like a wonderful idea!

    I know as a teenager, parents get into conflicts with their kids when they’re teens, what advice can you give to parents in that stage of parenthood? Thanks!

    1. Thank you, Marques!
      The advise I can give for parents with teenagers is: Listen. Listen. Listen. Parents usually are too busy teaching and educating – they want their kids to listen to them, but they themselves don’t listen enough to their kids. and this is a big mistake.
      They must talk les, and listen more. That doesn’t mean the parents have to accept or agree with everything, but they must let their child talk openly without interrupting. This gives a chance to the child to hear their own ideas played out loud. Also in this way the parents can understand the way their child thinks and solves problems. The strengths and the weak points of their way of thinking. And after they understand it, they can help their kids in a much better way.

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